There’s something magically liberating about cleaning out closets, emptying drawers of unused items, and finally letting go of sad single socks whose mates long ago were forever lost in the vortex of the clothes dryer. Ahhh… it’s finally spring time! I’ll take the renewal and reenergizing opportunities of warmer weather time over the rationalization of starting something in the new year – just because the earth has completed one more 365 rotation around the sun. (Actually just to get to the new day of the new year it’s 1/365 ¼ – but I’m not really counting.)
As I hauled overfilled bags of items to the curb this morning for a non-profit pick-up, it reminded me how this is a good time of the year to get rid of lots of things in our lives that might be weighing us down. It might be an unhealthy, one-sided friendship, a client that just isn’t worth the ROI expended or a toxic and abusive partner. If only it were as easy as the stroke of the keyboard! Usually, it’s not. Many years have often been invested, emotion runs deep and often we’re so accustomed to the crazy dance of the relationship, it may even feel “normal.”
If you are experiencing any of these signs or behaviors, it’s time for relationship spring cleaning:
- There is even the slightest amount of control in the relationship – it can be as overt as physical or verbal abuse, or covert such as offering lavish gifts, affection, money or even continually questioning your judgment and abilities.
- You don’t have inner peace with this person or in this situation. There is almost always a certain level of unrest. You are walking on eggshells just to make sure you don’t set them off. Consequently, you’re giving away your power when you’re with them the majority of the time.
- You’re not able to be your authentic self when you’re with them. If you are, then they’ll react negatively and you’ll be left continually scraping up the fragments of their insecurities.
One of the greatest life lessons I’ve learned is there is only so much capacity in our multiverses. If unhealthy things are taking up space, it’s impossible for there to be room for something good, noble and pure to find us. For all those years I hung on to an unhealthy relationship out of fear. I was told no one would want me. Once I believed my own truth and let the fear go, the best of what my heart desired started to find me.
It’s time for spring cleaning. Give up what’s not working for you then claim what you want and deserve. You’ll be surprised and delighted at what shows up.