Monthly Archives: May 2017

Renew & Reclaim – Podcast with Dr. Karin & Teresa Carey

Posted on by

Did you miss out guest podcast appearance on Dr. Karin’s Love & Life podcast? Check it out here!  It’s all about renewing and reclaiming any area of our lives that isn’t in step with our core values and authenticity.

Dr. Karin  Love & Life Podcast with Teresa G. Carey

In my latest Riff on Relationships we talk about feeling trapped in #relationships and how to disentangle yourself when needed. The Attractive Trap joins the conversation on the podcast! Teresa G. Carey shares her story of being trapped in an abusive marriage for 23 years. Her life appeared perfect, but things were horrible behind the scenes . . .

https://soundcloud.com/drkarinloveandlife/dr-karin-love-life-have-you

Get Ready for Take-Off: The Flight to Freedom

Posted on by

(Excerpt from Chapter 6, The Attractive Trap)

On a visit to Kitty Hawk, NC, I visited the famous Wright Brothers Museum. On one of the walls the three obstacles and subsequent lessons of flight were posted. After laborious trial and effort, the Wright brothers established three hurdles that must be overcome and applied in order to take and sustain flight. These same obstacles and lessons are the same hurdles all of the women in my book, The Attractive Trap, had to learn in order to ultimately escape their traps.

 

Obstacle Number One- Lift

In order to take off, you first have to achieve lift.  A wing surface has to be designed to take the greatest advantage of the fact that any air particles streaming across the upper and lower surfaces of the wing will keep it aloft.

Within each of us a resiliency and resolve to change must be established within our core.  This resiliency provides the strength and fortitude to not only take the initiative to change but to use the negative things that want to get in the way of the escape. The very stuff that aids in lifting or providing the initial momentum will also keep the process aloft.

Obstacle Number 2- Power

The Wright Brothers needed the design of a light weight, high powered engine along with efficient propellers, and a transmission mechanism which would provide enough propulsive force to provide forward motion, lift the heavy machine, and sustain that motion while in the air.

We can use our fuel such as anger or years of hurt in order to fuel the strength and health we need to press into the wind ahead. This allows us to convert emotions like anger to power and energy to move us through the flight.

Obstacle Number 3- Control

Stability and direction are always required for a successful flight.  The air flow over the rapidly turning blades of a propeller-driven plane produces thrust, or forward motion.  Each blade of the propeller acts as a small rotating force allowing air to flow over its curved surface. It then allows for horizontal “lift” which propels the aircraft forward.

The Wright Brothers borrowed this principle of thrust from their knowledge of how a bicycle works.  As we start and continue to peddle, momentum ensues.

“Just keep moving forward”, is the message we must tell ourselves and apply.  We can always find the resources needed for the next step as a way to provide momentum.  If we stop at any point along the way, lift, power and control are lost, interfering with our go forward position.  Each time we delay, we become increasingly unsure of the process and push the pause button. When we land again and go through lift off multiple times, it delays our flight and subsequent freedom.

No matter how you are trying to advance in life – momentum is everything in driving the process.   As long as you keep going forward in the right direction, your momentum will take you to the desired state.  Guaranteed.

Buckle your seatbelt. It’s time for take-off.

Is it Time For Spring Cleaning?

Posted on by

There’s something magically liberating about cleaning out closets, emptying drawers of unused items, and finally letting go of sad single socks whose mates long ago were forever lost in the vortex of the clothes dryer.  Ahhh… it’s finally spring time! I’ll take the renewal and reenergizing opportunities of warmer weather time over the rationalization of starting something in the new year – just because the earth has completed one more 365 rotation around the sun. (Actually just to get to the new day of the new year it’s 1/365 ¼ – but I’m not really counting.)

As I hauled overfilled bags of items to the curb this morning for a non-profit pick-up, it reminded me how this is a good time of the year to get rid of lots of things in our lives that might be weighing us down. It might be an unhealthy, one-sided friendship, a client that just isn’t worth the ROI expended or a toxic and abusive partner. If only it were as easy as the stroke of the keyboard! Usually, it’s not. Many years have often been invested, emotion runs deep and often we’re so accustomed to the crazy dance of the relationship, it may even feel “normal.”

If you are experiencing any of these signs or behaviors, it’s time for relationship spring cleaning:

  • There is even the slightest amount of control in the relationship – it can be as overt as physical or verbal abuse, or covert such as offering lavish gifts, affection, money or even continually questioning your judgment and abilities.
  • You don’t have inner peace with this person or in this situation. There is almost always a certain level of unrest. You are walking on eggshells just to make sure you don’t set them off. Consequently, you’re giving away your power when you’re with them the majority of the time.
  • You’re not able to be your authentic self when you’re with them. If you are, then they’ll react negatively and you’ll be left continually scraping up the fragments of their insecurities.

One of the greatest life lessons I’ve learned is there is only so much capacity in our multiverses.  If unhealthy things are taking up space, it’s impossible for there to be room for something good, noble and pure to find us. For all those years I hung on to an unhealthy relationship out of fear. I was told no one would want me. Once I believed my own truth and let the fear go, the best of what my heart desired started to find me.

It’s time for spring cleaning. Give up what’s not working for you then claim what you want and deserve. You’ll be surprised and delighted at what shows up.